


raindrops on roses

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Canon Compliant, F/M, Getting Together, Sex, Trans Female Character, Trans Ryan, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-28 22:40:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8465680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: His first impression is that she has no tits. His second impression is that damn, she's beautiful.





	

She doesn't have tits— at all, is the first impression Brendon has of her. She has no ass, no boobs, but her face is priceless. Brendon knows there's something up with this girl, there's something not usual. She wears girly clothes, she wears eyeliner, but when she talks, one thing is clear: she wasn't born as one.

"Hey," she says as she sits next to Brendon, smiling. Her voice is deep, masculine, dusty, almost. Brendon nods. It's one of the first weeks as a junior and something tells him she's older than him. "I'm Ryan," she introduces herself, and she shakes Brendon's hand doubtfully.

"I'm Brendon," he says, smiling. "Are you a senior?"

"Yeah," Ryan nods curtly, and Brendon is proud of himself for guessing correctly. "You?"

"I'm a junior," Brendon responds, and Ryan nods again. "You're not a girl, right?"

"What?" Ryan sputters, her eyes a bit too wide open. "I'm a trans girl, yes, but I am a girl, Brendon," she says in a hushed voice. Brendon feels sorry for saying she wasn't a girl; he nods, apologizes. And he goes back to his notes on what the teacher's telling them.

He doesn't have this Ryan in any other class, but he finds himself waiting for AP History just to see her again. She might be flat-chested and have no ass, but she's beautiful. Brendon sees her in the hallways, and she smiles at him as she waves.

Brendon feels like he's slowly falling in love with her, her soft-spoken nature and her lovely eyes. She is nice, too, she's really nice to him. She likes to write lyrics on the back of her notes; he has caught glimpses of her lyrics, and they're so good it makes him want to sing them sometimes.

So that's what when he hears people calling her a tranny during lunch that he decides he has to intervene. He pushes the bullies aside. "Don't call her that!" he says, a bit too loudly, and he feels the attention of the cafeteria go to him. He bites his lip.

"What is she? Your girlfriend? Your tranny girlfriend, huh, Urie? Do you suck her dick, do you pity her because she's a tranny?"

Brendon freezes in place, and he tries to not let it get to him. "It's okay, Brendon," he hears Ryan say, but he shakes his head. It's definitely not okay. He looks at her and he sees how her lunch's half eaten and how she's shaking, and he knows he needs this to stop.

He punches one of them almost by impulse, his fist almost breaking the other's jaw. The boy lets out a groan as he falls to the floor, and Brendon goes down with him. He starts punching him, until he's coughing up blood, but he doesn't stop until the inspector takes him by his armpits. "Don't ever call her a tranny again!" Brendon says, his voice full of rage.

They take him to the principal's office, and he waits for the man as he thinks of Ryan's expression. He thinks of people taunting him, wondering if she's his girlfriend. She's not— he'd love to be her boyfriend, if he's honest with himself.

"Why did you beat up Mr. Saporta, Mr. Urie?" the principal asks him, and Brendon sighs.

"He called her a tranny. She's a friend of mine and I can't stand that word."

"Who is 'she'?"

"Ryan, mister. Ryan Ross."

"Oh, I see. Are you... in a romantic relationship with her?"

"No," Brendon says almost immediately, feeling his cheeks turn pink. "Not yet, at least."

"Alright. You'll have detention, Mr. Urie, but the courage you showed was certainly impressive."

"Thank you."

"Detention's at four, Mr. Urie," the principal says before he gets up and opens the door. Brendon leaves quickly, going to his next class, which luckily enough was AP History.

He sits on his chair and looks for Ryan. She sits next to him, and she should be here by now, but she isn't. Brendon starts worrying, thinking she got beaten up in revenge for him beating up the Saporta kid. His mind is a hurricane until the classroom door opens, Ryan there.

"Sorry," she says awkwardly and Mr. Smith nods as she sits down on her place. She gets closer to Brendon. "Why did you do that?"

"Beat them up?" When she nods, Brendon lets out a small noise of annoyance. "I was... mad. They called you a tranny, for fuck's sake."

"Language, Mr. Urie!" Mr. Smith says, and Brendon ducks before nodding sharply. "Anyway, as I was saying..."

"Can you come to my house tomorrow?" Brendon asks, and when Ryan nods his face lits up. "Amazing!" he scribbles down the address and he hands it to Ryan, and she carefully puts the piece of paper in her pocket.

"You know, since I've been out it's the first time someone invites me to their house. Thank you, Bren."

"It's no problem, Ry. It's okay to call you that?"

Ryan grins, and she nods, and Brendon swears he's never seen someone as beautiful as her.

\---

Brendon's house is spacious and his parents are never home, them both too busy working in their respective jobs. Ryan enters it an hour after school ends, and Brendon is so eager to show her everything as they talk about nothing in particular.

"Since when do you know you're trans?" he asks casually, ignoring the question of whether she still has a dick or not in his mind.

"Since I was little. I told my mom I wanted to be a girl when I was six, but she brushed it off until I came out during my freshman year." The memory of her freshman year seems to be bitter for Ryan, as she quickly puts that time aside. "Then I started shaving, wearing girl's jeans, wearing make up. We moved out to here on my sophomore year and since then I've been switching schools when the rumors arrive."

"So that's why you got to my school this late in the year?"

"Yeah, pretty much. I don't think I wanna leave it, though."

"Why? They've already made fun of you." Part of him thinks it's because of him, but that's just too egoistical, isn't it? He's not a self-centered asshole, isn't he?

"Because of you, really. You're the closest friend I've had since I came out."

Brendon looks down. They're sitting at his bed, and they're too close together as they intertwine their fingers together. "I like you, Ryan," he says, quietly, trying to let it out but not let her hear it at the same time.

"As a friend?" Ryan asks, and Brendon looks up.

"As... something. Something more, I think." He refrains from the words that threaten to come out of his mouth next: I'm sorry, this is gonna ruin our friendship, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

He looks at Ryan again. Her eyes are lit up and she's grinning like an idiot. "I like you as something more, too, Bren. I like you a lot." She grins and Brendon sees all the beautiful things she has. A perfect smile. Her eyes, her soft hair.

And he decides he's fallen in love by when their lips crash together.

\---

Ryan is lucky enough to live in an accepting household. Her parents don't hate her for being trans, and her little brother is learning to accept it, even though in his own words she "doesn't look like a girl".

She hates her genitalia sometimes. She hates having a dick, she hates not having boobs. She can still jack off to the thought of Brendon fucking her senseless, though, and she really does enjoy it. She comes home giddy, smiling widely, not forcefully like she most of the time has to.

"What happened, sugar?" her mom asks, noticing how sincerely happy her daughter is.

"I got a boyfriend!"

"That Brendon boy?" her mom asks, and when she nods, she hurries to hug her. "I'm glad! I'm glad you've got a boyfriend, Ryan," she says, and she kisses her forehead.

"Thank you, mom. I love him."

She goes to her bedroom and she falls asleep soon enough, thinking of soft lips and glasses. She dreams of Brendon and she feels happy.

\---

She's back at Brendon's house by the next week. They talk and talk, letting sloppy kisses in between chitchat. Ryan loves him, and she tells him that by kissing his collar bones and swearing he's the most beautiful person she's ever met.

They're horny teenagers, too, and before they know it Ryan strips down and Brendon does, too. Ryan doesn't know when her fingers are locked on Brendon's hair, as he sucks on her cock with ease. "Fuck, Bren!" she says as she rocks her hips, fucking Brendon's mouth with that. "I— holy shit— holy shit," she groans as she comes in Brendon's mouth with a soft moan.

Brendon doesn't spit her cum, even though he'd like to if it wasn't for the fact it's Ryan and not just a fling.

Brendon feels his cock throb inside of Ryan's ass, who's moaning like a cheap whore, and God, Brendon swears he's never seen Ryan this worked up, as he kisses her collar bones and licks her neck. He keeps thrusting into her, letting small groans when he hits that certain spot.

Ryan feels come ooze out of her hole, and she closes her eyes tiredly as Brendon kisses her all over. "I'm in love with you," Brendon whispers against her soft skin, and Ryan smiles.

"I'm in love with you, too, Bren."

"Good."

"Good?"

"Good," Brendon nods, and Ryan laughs. Ryan can't help but think his life's perfect in this exact moment. There might be transphobic assholes, but her life could be bearable with Brendon at her side.

\---

Brendon's eighteen and Ryan's nineteen when Ryan decides to go on E. She waits weeks until it's finally approved, and Brendon hears the updates in the apartment they share. She doesn't notice much difference at first, until she does have boobs and her voice is slightly more feminine and her Adam's apple is almost invisible.

Ryan is kissing Brendon lazily before they decide they don't want to make their life nothing. They want to be musicians, even if that means facing transphobia and hate.

Ryan writes A Fever You Can't Sweat Out in the period of a few weeks as they get Jon, Spencer and Brent to work with them. Jon and Spencer were Brendon's friends, while Brent is one of Ryan's.

They release the album on 2005, and it's a hit. It makes them feel proud, as they tour through the world and they answer questions about Ryan's transition on interviews. She doesn't mind, at all.

They're together, they're happy, and they're successful. They couldn't be happier.


End file.
